Kyoto is a total trap. Don’t get me wrong, I love the place—I’ve spent exactly 42 nights there over the last nine years—but the hotel scene is a minefield of overhyped ‘traditional’ experiences and soul-crushing corporate boxes. Most people just Google ‘best hotels Kyoto’ and end up at some five-star spot that feels like an airport lounge with a single bonsai tree in the corner. It’s boring. It’s expensive. And it completely misses the point of being in a city that’s literally dripping with 1,200 years of weird, beautiful history.
I’m not a travel agent. I just work a regular job and spend my vacation days obsessively researching where to sleep so I don’t feel like a generic tourist. I have strong feelings about this. Some of them are probably unfair, but they come from actually paying for these rooms with my own money.
The luxury hotels that feel like high-end dentist offices
I know people rave about the Ritz-Carlton. I stayed there once on a mountain of credit card points. Look, the service is terrifyingly good. They know your name before you even get out of the taxi. But the vibe? The Ritz-Carlton Kyoto is basically a high-end dentist’s office with better tea. It’s too polished. It’s so clean and perfect that I felt like I was breaking a law every time I moved a pillow. If you want to spend $1,200 a night to feel like you’re in a very expensive, very quiet museum, go for it. But you won’t feel like you’re in Kyoto. You’ll feel like you’re in ‘Global Luxury City #4.’
I feel the same way about the Park Hyatt. I refuse to stay there even though everyone on Instagram acts like it’s the second coming. It’s beautiful, sure, but it’s so stuffy I felt like I needed to apologize for breathing when I went in for a drink at the bar. I know people will disagree with me on this, and that’s fine. If you like feeling like a VIP in a bubble, have at it. I’d rather have a room with a bit of grit.
The Machiya trap (and my bruised tailbone)
Everyone tells you to stay in a Machiya—those restored traditional wooden townhouses. They look incredible in photos. The dark wood, the sliding paper doors, the little private gardens. It’s the dream, right? Well, I used to think so. I was completely wrong.
In 2018, I booked a ‘luxury’ Machiya near Gion. It was November. Kyoto in November is stunning, but it’s also damp and cold. Those old houses have the insulation of a wet paper bag. I spent the entire night huddled next to a space heater that smelled like burning dust. What I mean is—actually, let me put it differently. It’s not that the house was bad, it’s that living like a 17th-century silk merchant is actually quite uncomfortable when you just want to charge your iPhone and take a hot shower without the floorboards screaming.
The breaking point was the stairs. The stairs in those old houses are like a vertical IQ test you’re destined to fail. I was heading down to the kitchen at 2 AM for water, slipped on my wool socks, and bounced down five steps directly onto my tailbone. I couldn’t sit properly for the rest of the trip. I spent three days touring temples while walking like a penguin. Never again.
Stay in a Machiya for the photos if you must, but don’t say I didn’t warn you about the drafts and the death-trap staircases.
Where I actually put my own money
If you want the best of Kyoto without the sterile vibe or the physical danger, there are only a few places I actually recommend to my friends.
- Ace Hotel Kyoto: I know, I know. It’s ‘too cool.’ But honestly? It works. It’s built into an old telephone exchange, the design is loud, and the Stumptown coffee in the lobby is the only thing that gets me moving after a 12-hour flight. The rooms are huge for Japan standards—my last one was 30 square meters, which is practically a palace.
- The Knot Kyoto Shijo: This is my ‘I’m on a budget but don’t want to stay in a closet’ pick. The rooms are tiny (exactly 18 square meters for the standard double), but the bar is great and it’s right in the middle of everything. It’s cheap. It’s clean. It works.
- Sowaka: This is the splurge. It’s a ryokan-style hotel but it actually has modern comforts. It’s expensive, but it feels authentic without making you sleep on a floor that feels like plywood.
I might be wrong about this, but I think Arashiyama is a tourist-clogged nightmare and staying there is a massive mistake. People pay $1,500 for Hoshinoya Arashiyama just to be stuck in a part of town that is unusable between 10 AM and 5 PM because of the crowds. Total waste of money.
A quick note on the bus system
Anyway, I need to vent about the buses. Everyone says ‘take the bus in Kyoto!’ Don’t. The buses are always 15 minutes late and packed so tight you’ll be sharing sweat with a stranger from Ohio. Take the subway or just walk. I walked 28,000 steps in a single day last October just to avoid the 206 bus line. But I digress.
Back to the hotels. One thing I’ve noticed is that the ‘business hotels’ like Dormy Inn are actually better than most mid-range boutique spots. They have public baths (onsets) on the top floor and they give you free ramen at night. Free ramen is a better amenity than a pillow menu. That’s just a fact. I’ve stayed at the Dormy Inn Premium Kyoto Ekimae three times now. It’s not ‘cool,’ but soaking in a hot bath after walking 12 miles is better than any designer wallpaper.
I used to care about the view. Now I just care about the proximity to a 7-Eleven and how good the blackout curtains are. Kyoto is loud. The crows start screaming at 5 AM. If your hotel doesn’t have good windows, you’re done for.
I still haven’t found the ‘perfect’ hotel in Kyoto. Maybe it doesn’t exist. Maybe the whole point of the city is that you’re supposed to be slightly uncomfortable, caught between the old world that wants to kill your tailbone and the new world that wants to charge you $20 for a club sandwich.
Is it weird that I keep going back anyway?
Stay at the Ace if you want to feel cool. Stay at the Dormy Inn if you want a hot bath and free noodles. Avoid the Machiyas unless you have health insurance. Worth every penny.
