Lately, and for a few months now, I have started to appreciate the beauty of slowing down and living life at a slower pace. I haven’t travelled much this year, except to see my family. I haven’t explored many new places, but have loved to go back to those I already knew and loved.
In a way, several circumstances “forced” me to make this change, but maybe it was just what I needed. After a year filled with incredible bucket-list-worthy adventures, I felt a bit tired of trying to optimise every single day to fit in as many adventures as possible.
Instead of feeding my fomo or making me feel restless (I’ll admit though that I did feel this way some times), this slower pace made me appreciate the comfort of my own (new) home, the familiarity of the city I live in and the calmness of my routines and habits.
Here are the things that have helped me this past year to slow down my pace, to avoid feeling stuck over things I couldn’t control and to move past the need to always feel productive.
Allowing myself to be unproductive
This was a big thing for me, as I have always been the type of person who wants to optimise every single moment, filling my days and weeks with things that I simply don’t have the time or mental capacity to do, and feeling guilt and shame when I invitably can’t honor the promises I made to myself.
I forced myself – and was sometimes forced – to take time off certain things that, instead of making me feel better, stressed me out when I realised I couldn’t do them. And I slowly realised that, actually, nothing happened. It was absolutely okay to not do anything at times and just listen to what my body and mind told me to do. This may seem obvious for some of you, but it wasn’t for me!
Taking the time to rest
When I allowed myself to be unproductive, is also when I started to actually take the time to rest, especially to have a mental break from all the obligations that I forced upon myself and that were by no means external things that I actually had do.
Taking the time to rest can take many shapes, but to me it always means listening to what you are yearning for, what your body and mind need. It can be eating a healthy meal or a sweet, decadent one, curling up with a book and tea or watching a movie you have already seen hundreds of times, going to a party with friends or going on a walk by yourself. And sometimes it can be one, but the next day it will be the other.
Both are good for our souls, and the hardest part is to do what your soul needs to rest instead of what your brain – used to the “quick fix” of scrolling mindlessly – tells you to do. But usually, we can well distinguish these to, wether we want to admit it or not.
Being intentional in what I do
To me, there is a lot of difference between accidentally binge-watching a series all night and planning to have a night in to watch all the episodes of your favourite series. Between scrolling mindlessly for hours and enjoying watching reels and tik toks after a long day at work. The difference is that some of these activities are done with intention.
I am not saying that one is bad and the other good, but that by willingly doing something “unproductive” or even planning to do it, by building the anticipation of that indulgent activity, it felt much more enjoyable, and it helped me to not feel shame or guilt, when thinking “what did I do with my evening??”
Enjoying the little things
When you are used to traveling so much or seeing so many people – especially on social media – going everywhere and doing everything, it is easy to feel the dreaded fear of missing out. This is especially true when it comes to traveling, and we tend to forget that actually most people don’t travel much if not at all.
When you can’t travel, the other way to feel the “high” of discovering new things and exploring new places is, to me, to find joy in the little, mundane things, and to look at the world with enthusiastic eyes. This will push you to explore your surroundings, discover new places right around the corner, and these local adventures will fill your heart and soul with the same rewarding feeling that you get when you travel. Our bodies and minds do not need to be halfway across the world to feel gratitude and excitement.
Finding beauty everywhere
When I find joy in the little things, is also when I realise that there is literally beauty everywhere around us. From a simple walk to the park, to the colours of a sunset and the changing nature throughout the seasons, there is so much beauty and comfort that surround us, and slowing down my pace of life helped me to see that again.
I sometimes go for a walk with the sole purpose of taking pictures of beautiful things, or try to see the world around me as if I were an artist looking for inspiration for my next painting. I have collected many of these snippets of beautiful things, and I also think that it has helped me immensely to not feel like I am missing out on anything by not traveling, and to feel immensely grateful for the beautiful little – and big – things that surround me.
I hope that you found a bit of comfort through these words, especially if you are feeling like you are missing out on something. And that you will slowly see how perfectly okay it is to each go through life at our own pace.
I’ll admit that maybe it is the “autumn” in me speaking, while I write these words with a purring cat on my lap, under a soft blanket, and the last rays of sunshine of this day warm up the living room, but I do feel like this year was truly a lesson in slowing down and enjoying the most simple things closer to home. And I couldn’t be more grateful for it.
